I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
Randomize
