White coat. Heels.
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
