But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
Randomize
