She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
Randomize
