This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
