im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
Randomize
