Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
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