Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
