We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
Randomize
