the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
