the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Randomize
