I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
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