I could have mohawked her pubes.
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
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