i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
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