Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
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