I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
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