been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
Randomize
