She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
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