just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
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