Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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