I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
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