fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
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