I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
Randomize
