I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
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