after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
Randomize
