redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
Randomize
