Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Randomize
