She announced her abortion via fbk
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
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