is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
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