my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize
