there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
Randomize
