I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
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