I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
Randomize
