What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Randomize
