i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
Randomize
