This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
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