yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
Randomize
