so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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