I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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