it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
Randomize
