is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
Randomize
