is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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