one two three fourrrrnication!
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
Randomize
