Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
Randomize
