you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
Randomize
