Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
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