Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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