So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Randomize
