there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
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