When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
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