I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
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