I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
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