Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
Randomize
